We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
