I love black thongs
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize