Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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