So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
