u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
