How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
