we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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