Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
