Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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