Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize