is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
