I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize