There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
