Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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