An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
