Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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