I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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