Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
