; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
