I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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