spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
