I want to walk on stilts...naked
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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