: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize