i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
