To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
