Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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