There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
