i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
