I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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