she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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