I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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