If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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