I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
