Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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