used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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