The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
