Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
