Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
