she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
