youre lurking in front of me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
