I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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