First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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