big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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