I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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