walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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