why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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