some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
