we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
