He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize