...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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