if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
