Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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