whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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