Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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