So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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