thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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