Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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