So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize