One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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