We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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